Is marriage a good idea?
This past week, we had the opportunity to do something we haven’t often done: share some of our songs for a Date Night hosted at New Vision Baptist in Murfreesboro, TN.
We shared our normal set of originals, but we also got to play a few songs we don’t usually share in our concerts.
We shared a song called “Two Becoming One” which is a song for our marriage rooted in Ephesians 5. We also shared “I Just Thought I’d Write You A Song,” the last track on an album I (Jonathan) wrote, recorded, and released to celebrate our tenth anniversary a few years ago.
We also had the joy of participating in a brief interview on marriage, and one of the questions we received was, “Why is marriage a good idea?”
After thinking through this question this past week, I thought I would share with you three reasons why marriage is a good idea and why each of us (singles and married alike) can and should rejoice in and champion the idea of marriage.
1. God invented marriage
This idea is floating around that marriage is a social construction that developed over time, but we clearly see in God’s Word that marriage and family were God’s ideas. He gave us the gifts of marriage and family.
That being the case, as Tim Keller has said, “those who enter it should make an effort to understand and submit to his purposes for it.”
I would add that I think it would be good (and possibly healing) for singles to gain a solid Biblical vision for marriage because it will lift our thoughts from damaging and hurtful worldly ideas about love and marriage.
2. God is telling us something through marriage.
“The Bible helps us see that we live in a universe where ultimate reality is relational. ”
God is relational, and He wants us to be in a relationship with Him. God gave us marriage to enjoy, but He gave marriage as a way to reveal Himself to us.
The whole story of the Bible is rooted in the ultimate marriage of Christ with His Church. Throughout the Old Testament, God speaks about His people as wayward lovers and adulterers who abandoned their first Love, God Himself. In Revelation, the Bible ends with a wedding. Christ died to redeem His bride, the Church, and because of His sacrifice, we see them finally and fully united together forever.
We also see familial terms throughout the Bible. Through Christ, we become the children of God. When Christ taught us to pray, the first words he used were “Our Father.” In Christ, we become brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers united together in faith.
God gave us marriage and family so that we could better understand how he wants to relate to us. When done right, marriage and family are the closest relationship we have. At their best, family relationships are deeply nourishing and satisfying. And no matter our family situation, we are each profoundly shaped by our family. Even a lack of family powerfully impacts who we are.
There isn’t a marriage or family on earth that lives up to what our hearts deeply long for, and, in part, that’s because our hearts long to be married to Christ and belong to the beautiful and glorious family of God.
What’s most significant about us is not that we are married or unmarried. It’s not that we had a good dad or a bad dad. And it’s not that we have children or don’t have children.
The most significant thing about us is that Christ loves us, longs for us, and died to make us His own.
The most significant thing about us is that, in Christ, God is our Father. He delights in us. He cares for us. And like a good Father, He is looking out for us and making everything work together for our good.
The most significant thing about us is that, in Christ, we are a part of a beautiful family. We have brothers, sisters, children, mothers, and fathers in faith.
As Sam Allberry has said, “The blood of Christ is thicker than the blood of biology.”
3. Our marriages tell something.
There is something heroic about two people sacrificially loving each other to the end in a committed and exclusive relationship. We admire this kind of love because it points us to a greater reality.
In short, our marriage puts Christ’s love on display.
One of the reasons why our daily lives and relationships matter is because they are speaking. Our lives might not seem to have much purpose or significance at times, but the simple act of committing ourselves to one another and honoring the promises we made to love one another broadcasts the faithfulness of Christ to the world.
Marriage is one way that we join in telling the story of the greatest Love there is. We can and should speak of Christ’s love, but marriage is a significant way that we add weight and meaning to our words. Marriage is also one way in which lives are living parables communicating to the world around us that God loves and is deeply committed to His people.
Marriage is not the pinnacle
So yes, marriage is a profoundly good idea, but it’s not because marriage is the pinnacle of what we can or should achieve. And it’s not because being married means we are desirable or valuable.
Marriage doesn’t make something true about us; it communicates something already true: that Christ loves, desires, and values us.
This is why marriage is a gift to each of us. Through our marriages or the marriages of those around us, we have a constant reminder that Christ loves us, He has sacrificially given Himself for us, He is profoundly committed to us, and we will enjoy His love forever.
